Newton could explain this in a lot fewer words. [Part 1]

If you asked me why I wanted a motorcycle, I would have a hard time giving you a concrete answer.  If you know my history, you'll know that there are a few strong arguments as to why I shouldn't get one, or shouldn't want to get one.
I don't know if it was an easy decision or a hard one, and that feels like a strange statement to make.  But it was a decision that had to be made, and the decision had to be "get one", and I cannot explain why.

Of the few reasons why I shouldn't have wanted to get a motorcycle, the most obvious being the 800lb gorilla that likes to hang out in the room whenever I bring up motorcycles. Christiana.  A little over 3 years ago, I watched as one of my best friends was buried into cold Long Island ground.   Losing her, not having her around to share life with, is one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with. I still cry, and still yell at the universe for the unfairness of it all, that she is not still here to share this earth with me, with us.
She died while on her motorcycle.   I think about her every day, and you can bet I thought about her a lot in the weeks leading up to my buying a motorcycle.

But, this post isn't about her (although there will be more on her, I'm sure), or why I shouldn't have a motorcycle. It's about why I do have a motorcycle.

I think it comes down to this:
I do not like to be still. I do not like to stop moving. I have an inner voice that tells me, constantly, to 'just keep moving'. Bad things happen when you stop.
I think this is why I like running, and flying, and jumping out of airplanes. Forward motion. Constant motion. Stillness can bring stagnation. Complacency. Mediocrity.
My fears.
I know. Stillness can also bring knowledge, and calmness, and peace.
I've learned I can find those same things in running. and flying. and jumping out of airplanes. and wrapped around 650cc's of internal combustion . It's when I stop doing these things that my mind gets cluttered and cramped and too full, and I can't think straight and get overwhelmed.
To think straight, to calm down, to forget. I have to move. Maybe it's the wind, maybe it's the motion. To clear my head, I have to move. Maybe it's my subconscious moving away from all the bad thoughts.
I don't see it as dangerous. Yes, there is risk. There is risk in everything we do. It's a risk I accept.

I bought, and I ride a motorcycle to calm me. To clear my head. To find happiness.  To move. To find another place. To occupy my mind.

A promise to promise

I fear looking back for my last post. Well, my last published post.
It's been awhile.
I've been writing, and writing and writing. But not finishing anything. At least not to the point where it's suitable for interwebz consumption (which should tell you something about the sorry state of those entries).
But there are things I want/need to write about.

In no particular order, they are (rather, will be, as I'm not going to get into them in this post):

Daisy (a motorcycle)
Current musings on life, in terms of geographical location
Current musings on life, in terms of psychological location
EPFH (a boy...who is in need of a shorter acronym)
28 Things
Where my home is, and where it is not

It makes me sad when I don't write. Not just here, but on paper as well.  I always forget to, and I always feel guilty about it. Maybe I should feel less guilty.
Anyway.
More soon. I promise.

xo
MK