This keeps taking different forms. I'm not sure where it will go, I've yet to figure out what I want it to be, but I suppose I can just keep trying until I like what it becomes.
Life is strange these days. I'm not sure if it's just SAD, but it feels nightmarish most of the time. If I sit back and look at life logically, I see that no one thing, or even a combination of things is really all that bad - but the second I lose that focus and let go of that string of logic, I feel trapped in the nightmare again. I'm working through it by trying to keep myself busy, eating healthy, keeping active, and doing things I enjoy. I honestly feel like I'm piecing myself and my life together every second of the day to keep from falling apart. It's very tiring. I feel like if I stop for even a second I will lose it. So I just keep moving.
I'm working on moving to Seattle. I think being closer to friends, back in a city, and having space of my own are very necessary. I'm hoping I can find a job in the next few months, and I'll work everything else out from there.
V. Things have crumbled with him. It's a stressor I don't want right now, but I don't know how to fix. In a perfect world, we'd still be dating, and I'd still have him as my friend.
I've started going to Zumba classes. They are fun. It's an hour where I feel really happy and forget about EVERYTHING. I love dancing. I love it. I'm going twice a week right now, but I think I'll start going three times. It's one of the few things here that I really, really enjoy.
I'm toying with the idea of giving up drinking for awhile. For health reasons, and to really focus on other things in my life. I know it will help me quit smoking, which I really want to 'succeed' at. I still miss smoking, which is not good. More on this soon.
I think that is all for now.
xoxo
MK
